What Wayne Hears

What Wayne hears, he writes down. What he writes down, he generally maybe might what could post. Or not. Maybe.

Makes sense

Me: You have to take a bath in a little bit.

Miranda: Do we have to wash my hair?

Yes, and we’ll make it very pretty

But I can’t. My foot hurts. We can’t wash my hair if my foot hurts!

Any man who says they have never crapped their pants either has never worn pants or is a liar

—S. Czaban; czabe.com

If Moseby poops outside, he will make chocolate snow.

—M. Boardman, 3

I’m too nerdy to be a Hooters Girl.

—R. Schmalz

Let me get back to my presentation because I’m not following it at all

—J. Staebell

(in tears) Gavy sworded me into the water!

—M. Boardman, 4

The best part is the moose’s butt!

—Some little girl outside of Moosejaw Pizza

His diaper smelled like he threw up in it.

—A. Boardman

i’ll cut the phone, i’ll be right there; let the boot get in, i’ll be right there

—M. Boardman, 3, singing “Let the Groove Get In” by Justin Timberlake

I’m bad, and that’s good. I will never be good, and that’s not bad.

—M. Boardman, 3, reciting part of the bad guy affirmation as she’s running through the house.